Giving Thoughts

Don't know why but these past few days (and weeks) have left me a lot of things to think about. As a note, this was not a "galau" post. This is simply a note to self and you will find out this quite boring, maybe. So I'm not really recommending you to read all these.

Chapter One

Things started when last Tuesday me and some friends went to one hospital in Guangzhou to celebrate a friend's birthday. To make the story simpler, let's just from now on called this birthday boy as B. Actually his birthday was on Monday but long story short, there was no one to go and made a surprise party or something like that for him. The sad but true thing was, nobody wanted to.

Me personally was not really close to this boy. Just so you know, he no longer is living in Guangzhou, but he used to study in the same language college with us. So before this semester began, he went back to Indonesia and now he's back here, to accompany his Mom, who's doing a cancer treatment. Well yeah, his Mom got cancer. 

That night when we came and I saw them (B and his Mom), I really feel bad, for them. For B, at first, when no one did come to celebrate your birthday while you're far away from home and no one seemed to care about you. Even his Mom forgot, well that is understandable since she was sick and she doesn't even know what day it was and I could see how her eyes showing regret for not remembering her son's birthday. 

Seeing his Mom, sitting on the bed, seemed to be so weak, it broke my heart. I really couldn't imagine if it was my Mom who was lying there helplessly. I really couldn't imagine if it was me who was in their condition. What should I do if it was me?

So the story goes on when we asked him to blow some small candles, as a sign of birthday ritual. He kept on saying that his birthday already passed away blablabla but I could see there's some happiness in his eyes that there were actually people who at least cared, well yeah even though I know it's late. But they said better late than nothing, right? Well I guess that applied on this situation.

Before we went home, B asked me to pray for him and his Mom, well all I could do was accepted his request and I just said a simple prayer to God and led them in prayer. His Mom was not a believer, but when we prayed I knew that she was praying too inside her heart. After we prayed, B suggested us to go home together with him, as I heard his shaky voice while he was speaking and he was going to cry. The same thing with his Mom.

Yet these whole things just gave me a lot to think about. First thing first,  just be effing grateful for whatever your condition is now. We spent many times in our lives, complaining what's not good about being ourselves, complaining how our food wasn't good enough, how school sucks, how slow the internet connection is, and other things. We were so busy pleasing our inner selves that we sometimes forgot that there were so many people out there with those big problems that they don't even know how to get through.

B's problem reminded me of another story of another friend. He was telling me how bad his life was, well I approved that, how his job was killing him, how he kept having arguments with his girl, and how his parents were planning to divorce for the x-time. See? There's just simply so many things to be not grateful about, but well at least, at least, he could still see his Mom, healthy, not lying on the hospital bed, surviving to defeat such a terrible disease. At least, he doesn't have to feel the feeling, how you're afraid to lose someone you love much and never be able to see her again.

I kept telling myself, see how lucky you are? How great your life already is? 

Chapter Two

People come and go in your life. That is an absolute thing. You realized that people you know became the people you used to know. You realized the thing you have become things you used to have.

But what happened after it? Nothing. Things go on and people move on.

Sometimes I found myself playing the old songs in my mind over and over again while the people who used to sing it with me already moved on with their own life, creating some new songs with some new people. 

To be honest, I'm missing those people. I was hoping they could be here with me and sing those songs with me. But even though I missed the moments I spent with them, it does not make me want to go back to the past. We left the memories behind and treasure them as something worth remembering. And that is what I am doing now.

***

Enough with my thoughts sharing or I'll be making the world's most boring post and they have to award me with Guiness Book of Records something. Ahem, just forget what I just said on the last sentence.

So another story, just another farewell *sigh* and now we have to let one of our best people at church, Andreas. He's been such a good friend for these years.


He is the one with the black and white plaid shirt, by the way. It is sad to see another friend back to Indonesia, but well as we usually call them, they are back for good, for their future, for a better them. And one day I'll be at the same position too, back for my own good.

We were in the same church ministry since I first came to Guangzhou and he is also my best friend - Jane's boyfriend. Just so you know, I helped him a lot before he finally got the chance to be Jane's bf LOLOL. It's been so long since that time and look how we are now, much more mature than that time I believe :)

The picture was taken during his last ministry at the Youth Service and too bad Jane was not in the picture as she was doing her ministry at Hongkong. That night after his farewell dinner, we did have some small talk about farewell things, how we really don't hope him to be back, and himself too doesn't really want to go back to Indonesia. But again, it was all for good. We believed that this temporary parting is the time when God's giving extra time for us, so that when we all meet again, we'll meet again as better people, letting us see each other as grown up personals.

my favorite pic of me, Andreas and Jane, taken on 2010.
So this is it, thanks Dedek (how I usually call him) for being such a great friend to me. As my last words, good bye see you at another time, and when we meet again, we will be better personals, just like what we had said. God bless you, brother :)

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