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About Letting Go

Image Credit: The Worship Project
let someone/something go 
1. allow someone/something to escape or go free
2. relinquish one's grip on someone/something

Thought I'd let myself share a little bit about something that has happened to me not too long ago. I have no intention to 'brag' about my personal matter to the world, but to me this is just a simple self reminder on how sometimes aching is just one of God's way to teach us valuable things in life.

I am a believer that everyone who came into our life where meant for some reasoning, and maybe most of the time is to let us earn and 'exchanging' things to each other, like exchanging love, or either life lessons. Well, can't deny that there are cases where people do exchange hatred too. But one thing that is also certain, though people came, apparently just like what we've been told all the time, they don't always stay.

It's not as easy as seeing the rain falls, instead it may hurt so much when those that you thought would always be there for you, who were always there, just aren't anymore. But if you come and think about it closely, is there just anything you can do about it?

Just like you, other people have the rights to choose the life they wanted to live. When they chose to leave and leaving made them happy, then please, do let them go. If they really matter to you, you'll know that there is nothing you wanted to see them for instead of being happy, even when their happiness does not include you inside.

It's okay to cry, really. Sometimes crying is nothing but a proof that you're alive and you still have feelings, which is good for you. Find somewhere safe where no one can see you and cry as much as you can, because it's not everyday you got to see yourself like this, so a cheat day won't harm nobody. After you had your good cry, tell yourself that it'd get better in time, all you need is just some time to recover and just like every other wound, they heal themselves, if you just give them enough time. Besides, you also the special privilege to 'enjoy' those sad songs the way it didn't usually do because only at these times those songs feel like singing for you.

When you think you're ready to leave, there's one thing you need to make sure of. Check your bag, you will want to make sure you don't carry the excess of those 'junk' with you. Because when you decided that you wanted to move on with your life, you need to be sure that you don't bring any sadness, regrets, self pity or other negativity (and of course, those dirty tissues you used to wipe your tears and snots) with you since you just won't be needing them anymore.

You are not letting go of the memories, you're just letting the people who were in it to set free and reach for their own version of happiness. When you walk to the future, you'll realize that it's not only those people that you managed to let go, but you've also set yourself free from the past that have been sitting on the shelves, collecting dusts for too long. After that you'll know that you're ready for the future He has prepared for you, but all along was waiting for you to be ready to pursue. It might just have been time for you, my dear.

"For all the air that's in your lungs, for all the joy that is to come. For all the things that you're alive to feel, just let the pain remind you hearts can heal" - Hate to See Your Heart Break (Paramore)


Gue memutuskan untuk membahas topik ini semenjak pembicaraan gue sama Etin (hey girl!) beberapa waktu lalu di Ayam Penyet Bu Kris #HarusBangetBilangDimana. Waktu itu kita lagi ngebahas salah satu permasalahan yang sedang dihadapi sama orang di sekitarnya dia, dan pas banget kebetulan juga gue ga lama baru menemukan 'kasus' yang kurang lebih sama.

Overestimating, kayanya itu kata yang ga gitu sering kita denger. Kalo temennya si 'underestimate' sih sering banget kayanya yah kita temuin dalam pembicaraan atau kehidupan sehari-hari kita, padahal ya mungkin sebenernya kita sendiri itu suka ga sadar kalo kita sering ngelakuin itu.

Setelah melalui pemikiran-pemikiran yang sebenernya sering kali ga begitu penting, gue mendapatkan kesimpulan kalau overestimating itu sebenernya beda tipis banget sama kesombongan, cuman menurut gue perbedaannya ada di sini: kalo sombong itu kita merasa diri kita lebih baik dalam aspek-aspek tertentu dari orang lain (misalnya lebih cantik, lebih kaya, lebih pinter dll) atau di saat kita ngerasa mampu atau menganggap segala sesuatu itu sepele, itu namanya kita sombong. Tapi di sisi lain di saat kita itu lagi overestimating, kita itu memandang sesuatu dari segi yang berlebihan, yang mungkin ga sepenuhnya (belum tentu) bener. Daaaan sering kali, kita itu ga sadar kalau kita uda ngelakuin itu.

Masih soal perbedaannya dengan kesombongan, kalau dari sisi lain yang gue lihat, sombong itu lebih ke perbandingan dengan orang lain, tapi kalau overestimating itu adalah masalah kita sama diri kita sendiri, in which when it happens, subjek yang dirugikan sebenarnya ya kita sendiri juga.

Setelah gue meneliti diri gue dan beberapa 'kasus' yang pernah gue temuin, berikut beberapa poin tentang tanda-tanda kalau kita itu lagi overestimating. Again, you know, just my two cents:
  1. You feel like you carry the world's weight on your back.
    Sebenarnya lebih gampangnya kaya kita itu ngerasa kalau masalah yang kita hadapi itu berat banget, lebaynya uda kaya orang paling susah sedunia aja. Jadi dalam kasus ini tuh lebih kaya melebih-lebihkan masalah yang kita hadapin padahal mungkin aja kita sebenernya cuma perlu ngerubah sudut pandang dalam memahami persoalan ato masalah itu.

    By the way, do you realize that how most of the times we can relate to songs? Like if the songs were made for us, kaya bisa pas banget gitu menggambarkan perasaan kita? Menurut gue, itu adalah satu bukti kalau sebenernya banyak orang bisa relate ke satu permasalahan yang sama, which means, you are not alone, dealing with all your problems, so there's no need to overestimate it (in this case, the problems we're dealing with).

  2. You keep thinking that certain people dislike you and that bothers you a lot.
    Nah ini nih salah satu poin yang menurut gue menarik, 'overestimating yourself'. Ada satu saat dimana gue ketemu orang yang merasa orang-orang itu ga suka sama dia, bahkan istilahnya kaya sampe pengen 'menyingkirkan' dia dari komunitasnya, beneran deh sampe segitunya. Tapi itu menyadarkan gue kalau sebenarnya kita juga pasti pernah ngerasa kaya gitu, kalau ada yang ga seneng sama kita, selalu ngejelek-jelekin kita ato apa, padahal belum tentu loh ya.

    Ibaratnya gini, kita di sininya uda sepet banget sama ini orang karena kita ngira kalo dia sensi ato apalah sama kita, tapi ternyata orangnya di sana juga boro-boro deh mikirin kita sampe niat banget jelek-jelekin kita, jangan-jangan malah kita sama sekali ga pernah lewat di otaknya dia. Di saat kita lagi keki sama itu orang, doinya malah lagi sibuk makan eskrim sambil foto-foto pencitraan buat dipasang di Instagram #ContohYangAneh. Yang harus kita inget banget itu, everyone deals with their own problem dan ya ga semua orang punya waktu dan tenaga buat mikirin orang lain lagi. Even if it's true, why bother thinking about people that don't even matter?

  3. Assuming that you are 'that' irreplaceable.
    Kalo poin yang ini nih yang paling kena ke gue sebenernya, dan sebenernya baru aja kejadian belakangan ini #CurcolMba #BisaAjaCuriCuriKesempatan #LOL never mind. Hmm, jadi kalau di poin yang ini tuh gue diingetin kalo in this such a big world, kita itu sebenernya bisa dengan gampang banget digantiin posisinya sama orang lain, dalam segi apapun. That is why it leads me to another life challenge dimana dengan hidup kita yang sebenernya kecil banget ini, gimana sih caranya kita biar kita bisa ngasih dampak yang lebih lagi ke orang lain? How do we actually make our capacity bigger? I am still figuring this thing out too.
Well, those are pretty much things I wanted to share this time. Gimana, pernah ga sih relate sama keadaan-keadaan di atas? Seperti biasa, sebenernya gue nulis post ini juga pure karena gue pengen bisa ngingetin diri gue tentang pelajaran-pelajaran yang gue dapetin, and besides, sharing is caring, right? Hope this post brings positive message to anyone who's reading. God bless you, guys!

100 Things I Am Thankful For

Good things need to be shared and spread! That is why when I saw this post, I knew that I've got to do another take on this again. Took me not too much time to write all these 100 things that actually made me happy or feeling thankful. I personally think that this is a good way to remind myself that sometimes life is not always about chasing big things, but those little things in life are actually the ones that we need to cherish most, not to take them for granted, do you agree not?
  1. Taking city bus trip while listening to le old iPod.
  2. Soft candies, QQ 糖, 橡皮糖, whatever you call it.
  3. Bread and cakes with chocolate sprinkles, these can't go wrong.
  4. Private me time after long day from work.
  5. The smell of freshly changed bed sheets.
  6. Clear blue sky with white fluffy clouds as the ornaments.
  7. Mc Donald's Choco Top.
  8. Overseas work trip.
  9. Hair that doesn't go cray cray after sleep. 
  10. Long night sleep. 
  11. Hot shower and the in-between-shower deep thoughts LOL.
  12. Warm wind hair dryer.
  13. Eyebrow pencil and eyeliner that tell that I'm actually awake.
  14. Cute people's daily vlogs. 
  15. When I have time (and intentions) to do my nails.
  16. My phone who saved me from boring and awkward situations.
  17. Online shopping which makes life so much easier.
  18. Dinner time after work with colleagues.
  19. Procrastinating on working time to kill dullness (not too often, #reallynotreally).
  20. Mc Donald's Happy Meal Minions figurines.
  21. Free food treats.
  22. Magnum Infinity.
  23. Sharing colorful band aids with friends who got hurt.
  24. Going to bed without having to set the alarm on.
  25. Good people who just called to say "Hi!".
  26. Funny group pictures on TPIP's Instagram.
  27. Topics and photos that is blog-worthy.
  28. Kepala Djenggot hot green tea after lunch.
  29. Free Garfield mug I got from Darlie toothpaste LOL.
  30. Writing on greetings card.
  31. Being excited about future plans.
  32. My new cheap Stradivarius red wallet.
  33. Putting X's on my office desk calendar.
  34. Organized working space 
  35. Receiving le monthly Happy Mail subscriptions. 
  36. Baso lima ribu plus Indomie rebus time with coworkers.
  37. Hearing someone told me I lost weight.
  38. Martabak manis coklat keju (with crispy sides, please).
  39. Sometimes orange sometimes pinkish twilight view.
  40. Starry nights and the bright shining moon.
  41. Being able to laugh at self careless actions or silly mistakes.
  42. Solo time on KTV #bancikaraoke.
  43. Take away nasi padang with extra 'lado' and gulai nangka #nelenludah.
  44. A scoop of Island Creamery's Tim Tam Milo.
  45. Being able to 'parkir mundur' perfectly at a one go.
  46. Baby Flindt's photo updates.
  47. Rare breakfast chance before office.
  48. Winning over temptation to snack (which rarely happen).
  49. Nasi uduk Pawon and the fried chicken and the sambel terasi. 
  50. Reaching 10,000 steps target in a day.
  51. Looking at my pretty blog header.
  52. Personalized and handmade gifts.
  53. Pretty book covers.
  54. Writing my schedules on le monthly planner.
  55. Donuts related DIY's.
  56. Organized bag.
  57. When my socks doesn't show while I was wearing flats.
  58. Writing blessings on my journal.
  59. Teasing my sister.
  60. Making other people laugh.
  61. The Body Shop's papaya body butter.
  62. My 5 years old iPod Shuffle.
  63. Looking at old tagged photos on Facebook.
  64. JCo's frozen yogurt
  65. When my photos on IG gets more than 50 likes LOL #bancilikes #hauspengakuan #abaikan.
  66. When my Mom told me that a little girl in church that I rarely meet asked about me and actually said, "Cece Sastika kapan pulang?" #awwyou #toosweeticanteven.
  67. Listening to good news from old friends.
  68. Long fingers.
  69. Not having to squeezed into my jeans. 
  70. Carrying cute pretty babies.
  71. Not losing too much hair after drying it.
  72. Being able to learn from others bad experiences without having to go through it before hand.
  73. My super stalking spying skill #muahahaha.
  74. When size 39 shoes actually fit.
  75. Finding a bag that doesn't have to be filled with things just to have shape.
  76. Office hour that ended early.
  77. Family vacations, especially on CNY.
  78. Not being dependent to other people.
  79. When people don't go hating on each other and judging others for their mistakes (or when people actually can care more to their own life rather than go lecturing others for sinning differently).
  80. Nagging at my brother for calling me (since I hate talking on the phone) but I am actually glad that he's reminded of me and called just to spend time talking to me.
  81. Funny emoticons Dad used on Wechat.
  82. People who actually wanted to spare their time to meet me.
  83. Good movies on long flights.
  84. Marking my calendars and counting down to things or dates that excite me.
  85. Reading at my friends' blog posts.
  86. Not having to worry about what to wear on the next day.
  87. Waking up late and realizing it's actually a weekend #somuchwin.
  88. Pudding and jelly.
  89. Spending less than 20K for a whole meal.
  90. Editing photos with phone applications.
  91. Scrolling at "Photos You've Liked" feeds on Instagram.
  92. Family dinner with all complete members.
  93. Reading at old blog posts.
  94. Fellowship after Saturday youth service.
  95. Knowing that I have more than enough of everything I've ever needed, by grace.
  96. Jesus who died for me at the cross.
  97. Cute babies photos and videos on Instagram.
  98. Those who still managed to stay with the way I am and never leave even when the times I can turn to be difficult or cold as a person.
  99. Family which sometimes I took for granted but never be doubted reserved a special place.
  100. People from the past who taught me to be strong even after the storm, who helped to shape me to become the person I am.

All Aboard The Feels Train!

When I wrote this, I was still at the office and the fact that I just spent my last week at Guangzhou still feels surreal to me. I could still remember clearly the moment I reached the town, every step I took literally gave me goosebumps, and I'm not even exaggerating, really.

The way I described the feeling was that everything felt so familiar, but at the same time so strange to me, as I told everyone, "感觉很熟悉但也是很陌生" - it's a weird feeling, I don't know if that's even possible but that's really how I felt about it. 

But the most important thing is that I am beyond thankful for the sweet memories that I got to make there with my family and friends, that I was able to spend times with those I love, to eat food I've been missing #TeamMalatang, for every single thing!

I also told my sister that the past week I spent at Guangzhou was probably the happiest week for me so far in 2015 and she just couldn't believe it LOL, but I really meant it. I actually have this feeling that it would be the last time for me going to Guangzhou, but well only for this time.. I actually hope that I was wrong :)

Look Who's All Grown Up

After my bro's and my graduation, it has finally come to my sister's turn of graduating. I hardly can believe it since I could still remember very clearly the days she just came to Guangzhou and joining the life as "留学生".

The rare chance that we had was that all family members (including our Amah!) were there to celebrate the good day. On my bro's graduation ceremony, it was just me and my Mom, while it was only my sister when it came to mine. So days like these really deserve gratitude and thankfulness.

Officially welcoming le sis to the life as an adult! Days may not always get easier, but I believe that with the protection of the Holy Spirit and the love from God and all people around you, the journey will be worth walking and fighting for :)