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A Quarter

When I was younger I used to think that 25 will be the age where I am already steady with my career, owning my own house or maybe a car I always wanted, and probably getting married. But guess what, none of them has really come true. 

At the age of 25, I am still struggling. Still fighting to live my life better, still trying to find a way to grow myself even more, but one thing that I always know for sure.. I am happy

Having goals or things to achieve in life, making plans and trying to make them happen, sometimes failing and feeling like giving up, that joy when you achieve something you want; all those experiences that have accompany me along this walk of life really do remind me that I am indeed a one blessed soul. 

I am thankful that at this age I no longer see things the way I did. I am glad that God has reminded me that all things that matter the most in life are not those things. It's not about a job that make you tons of money, nor a big house or that fancy car, it's about something else.

There's this thing that has come to my mind lately, something about happiness. Some people say that we got to aim for our own happiness, that sometimes it's okay to be selfish as long as you're happy. But what I learned so far, I know I won't be happy if my happiness ruins my loved ones'. I am happy when they are, when I can see smiles on their faces, I know I will be happy for them too. 

One time I was reminded that Lord Jesus himself has never even once lived for himself. He has dedicated all his life serving people, starting right from the day he was born until the day he has died at the cross. What a dedication, really. 

Now, after all that I've been receiving, for all those blessings I have even lost count to, I really feel like I wanted to give back. I wanted to invest, I wanted to contribute, in others' life. I wanted to know that what I do actually make other people's life better, if that even makes sense.  I am not yet to be too sure about what I have to do but I know that there will be ways God can use my life as his tool, to show people about love and share them THE joy. I know it might not always be an easy road, but yeah we'll see. 

25 used to scare me quite much, but thankfully it is actually not as terrifying as I thought it would be. I am honestly really, really happy with what I am doing now. This is finally the time when I am no longer on diet (yeah, you heard it right!), when the numbers of followers I have on Instagram doesn't even bother me anymore like it used to, when I'm no longer constantly seeking for a getaway to escape life's mess and living according to people's expectation doesn't exist anymore in my to-do-list, because I know at the end, those are not the things that count, if you know what I mean. 

I know my life is nowhere near perfect, but I am relieved to know that it doesn't need to be and will never need to. I realized that we don't need life to be perfect to show people that God's love is real in each of us and even through imperfections in life it can be a great opportunity for us to show how God really could work his magical way in our lives :)

Wow wow that was some really serious talk going on right there, wasn't it? I didn't plan for it to turn that serious though. But well that is what came to my mind when I decided to write this post, it just went that way. Please bear with me, kay?

Now let's talk about something more fun, like what I did on the day I am officially a quarter century old. I woke up feeling pretty excited though I have told myself not to be too thrilled. It was a pretty beautiful sunny morning and I was thankful for it. One of the first things I did was checking the mirror if by any chance there'd be any changes on my face when I turned 25. Apparently nothing had really changed, except that I earned myself two new acne spots on my face (wait.. what?).

It felt really good to received so many warm messages and blessings from those loved ones. My colleagues prepared a warm birthday celebration for me with a cake and a box of delicious martabak. I am grateful to receive so much love from them.

What I wasn't expecting is that my housemate and two other good girl friends welcomed me home with the sweetest surprise. I was so touched I didn't know how to react. Those things have definitely made me feel so happy and thankful. I really had no idea what I had done well to have me deserve all these good treatments, at some points I really felt like I didn't deserve them T____T

But at the end of the day, all I wanted to say is that I am happy, even more thankful. Thank you to everyone who has made my day a lot brighter than the usual days, thank you for always reminding me that I am always blessed and thank you for letting me sleep with a huge smile on my face :)

25 Lessons on Being 25

  1. You don't need to befriend everyone, it's not like you got time for all that anyway.
  2. Hearts can heal - they will find their way and they never fail to, as long as you give them enough time and you're willing to let go of the pain of the past. 
  3. Bad things happening doesn't always mean that you're a bad person. Sometimes they do because they just need to and no matter how hard or awful the situation is, believe that you'll learn at least a thing or two from them. 
  4. What you think of yourself, you become. As much as you can't let other people bring you down by the way you let them treat you, do not ever let any negative sound in your head give you false understanding about who you are or who you need to be. 
  5. All you can hold in your hand is only today, you have no access key for tomorrow since it isn't even certain and don't dwell in regrets from the past because they don't make good friends with anyone. Live in the moment, try to make everyday you're living the best day ever. 
  6. Crying is no sign of weakness, it is just one of many ways human being expresses their feelings. But crying over the same thing all over again and again? Nah. 
  7. Write journals about your life, take photos and notes of your every day, you will appreciate it so much in the future and you will be thanking yourself for it. 
  8. There is no such thing as a dream too small or too big. No one reserves the rights to judge others' dreams. One of the things I hate hearing most is: "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough". Screw it, I don't need anyone to judge if my dreams are big enough or tell me what to do or how to dream. 
  9. One of the worst things you can do to a person is to judge them before even knowing them. Give new people time to let you know them more and after that, you're to judge which to do. It's either you like them, or feeling that it's best not to be anywhere near them. 
  10. Just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should.  Sometimes there are a lot to consider, name it other people's feelings, and also most of the time.. common sense. 
  11. It is okay to sometimes be clueless about how life should be or where you should be heading in life, it's just another part of living and the longer you walk the path, you'll know which to head to. 
  12. Be responsible of your own health. Drink more water, don't overeat and if you can, exercise. Because when you fall sick, you'll be dragging people around you too by making them worry and putting them into more trouble by having to take care of you. 
  13. It's not easy, but try your best not to take things for granted, people too. Because most of the time, we just don't know what we have until we no longer do. 
  14. Anything can happen in a day, not to mention a year. Do things you wanted to because who might just know there might be no another "next time". 
  15. Change not because you've been told to, change because you want to. As much as you've been told to never change yourself because of anybody else, don't expect people to change for you too. People will only change for good, when they decided that they wanted to.
  16. There is always something good in everything, though we often just can't see it. That's why train your eyes and heart to look different points of view, you'll be able to see that sometimes a good thing about a super bad day is that the next day most probably will be a better day. 
  17. You don't always have to make right decisions. That's a relief, isn't it? Sometimes, well a lot of the times, people screw up, we make mistakes. But that's okay, mistakes are always there to teach you a few precious life lessons.
  18. Don't get into arguments with idiots (read: people with no common sense), it only makes you look more stupid than them.
  19. If there's anyone who's willing to accept and take you back no matter how much you have screwed up your life and theirs, that's what you call a family. 
  20. Life is too small to be lived only for yourself, find a way to contribute more in other people's life, especially those in needs. 
  21. The rules are pretty simple; don't treat people the way you don't want to be treated, and so goes the other way; don't expect people to do what you won't for them. 
  22. People react differently, just because it is not hard for you, doesn't mean that it is the same with other people.
  23. Be true to your own feeling, when you love someone, make sure they know it, through words or if it's too hard, then action it is - show them that you care.
  24. Parents were not born as parents, they also took time to learn how to be good parents and it wasn't an easy job for them too. Be more understanding and don't let them worry too much about you. Make them proud. 
  25. Anything in life happens by the grace of God, name it good times, name it difficulties or life struggles. Even on bad times there's always a chance to grow and learn to be stronger and to be better. Grace is not about what you did or who you are, but it's about who He is. What you do with your life is not the way you pay Him back because there's no way you'll be able to. How you live life is the way you react to the grace given, is it appropriate for you to live as all you wished when He has given you so much?